Bug Bite

I believe I misunderstood why hurt people want to be in bed

I used to think “it’s comforting, it’s dark, and if you sleep

you can’t think or do anything at all — really”

But now I see that when I am in bed I am not asleep

don’t want to be

It’s true that I don’t want to “do,”

but what I want is to think

I want time to think the same few conversations over and over

until it feels like I actually had them

Until I say the words so much and so audibly in my head

that they have no effect on me

When I have a bug bite I scratch it until it bleeds

and until I lose feeling where I was bit

If it doesn’t itch, it’s not a bug bite anymore

and it is a sore instead — which I would much rather have

My legs are now covered in small, circular bug bite scars

that you’d have to look for to find

I have to be in bed and I have to think

I must to be allowed the conversations here

where I can have them no where else